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Must see TV?

By Mike Hall, May 2, 2020

This Coronavirus has caused people to settle for a lot of TV viewing they may not have previously considered.

Like…on ESPN right now is The Jumping Frog Jubilee.

Rumor has it the contest has been held for ninety seven years.  Some of the veteran jockeys are adults who have competed for over fifty years. In case your wondering what a jockey does…he or she stands behind the intensely trained frog and tries, by whatever means possible, to scare the living daylights out of it in hopes the frightened amphibian will explode off the mat and jump three times across the finish line. The scare tactics used by the jockeys is…as they say, ‘can’t miss TV. Just google Jumping Frog Jubilee.

Preceding this was The World Hamburger Eating Contest. The winner was a fella by the name of Kobayashi. He downed 97 burgers and the crowd was going as crazy as a those seen cheering Kim Jong Un on a parade route. I don’t know if either of these fan groups are paid but I am wracking my brain to understand the attraction of these two activities. The announcers tried to compare the winner’s incredible feat to the long standing record of Joe DiMaggio when he hit safely in 56 straight games.

Not.

At least with Joe, I didn’t have to exit the room to expel my own lunch like I did watching this gluttonous exhibition.

Last, but not least, was a catfish noodling contest where very brave Louisianans get in a lake and reach their hands under the banks to grab huge and menacing whispered critters and pull them out of their homes.

No thank you….I’ll stick to trying to fool brown trout with Royal Wulff Dry flies and Copper John nymphs.

My friend told me there’s an annual meatball eating contest too and that he’d enter if I would.

It is doubtful because I have researched their training regimen and would certainly weigh 325 if adopted.

 

 

 

 

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