We were the host site for a six state tournament held a number of years ago. Returning from lunch on quarterfinals day, I asked the site coordinator if everything was running smoothly.
Expecting the customary reply of ‘yes, we’re right on time,’ I was surprised when he pulled me aside beyond the earshot of spectators and players.
‘Thanks for asking but I’m concerned about a Boys’ 16 match on court two. He asked if I, as the head pro, could keep an eye on the match. ‘Certainly’, I replied…is there a player who has been creating problems?’ He didn’t identify either player but said there had been some issues in previous tournaments. Motioning for me to follow, he walked briskly to a tree near the storage shed.
‘It’s not the players who concern me.’ He indicated that a mother of one of the players had been a consistent thorn in the side and hoped the presence of more official types might quell her aberrant and abusive behavior. I observed the first set that ended without incident and returned to my office to complete a project that was due the next morning. Later, I learned that the mother’s history was to remain calm during the early stages of matches and then to erupt as the matches moved into the deciding set. This match would be no exception.
In the third set her son had numerous chances to put the match away but seemed too anxious and outcome obsessed to execute his shots. The mother, now a full fledged participant in the match (a sideline saboteur) was beyond agitated. Livid. Mad as a hornet. Like a large firecracker had exploded between her ears. Spectators and other players cringed as her outbursts redefined the word R A G E. Predictably, the boy’s tension and embarrassment cost him the match. As he exited the court, the boy with the eyes on his shoes received an earful that is not repeatable here.
When I was leaving the center an hour later, a car emerged from between two out of state SUV’s. It jerked to a stop nearby and I looked closer. It was immediately apparent that a player was receiving a harsh, unwarranted, verbal lashing.
You’d be accurate if you called it a tongue whipping.
I could see two wildly animated arms motioning feverishly…trying to make a point. (Inflicting abuse) There was no response from the shaken junior who, earlier in the day, had looked forward to this important match. He eyes looked vacantly out the window while the diatribe continued.
I immediately felt the urge to pull my car out and block the exit. In hindsight, I wish I’d have tapped on his window, reached out to him with understanding eyes, and said, ‘nice match.’ How unfortunate that this crazy woman was contaminating the boy’s tennis and his life.
Why should an aspiring player have to overcome his most difficult draw before the car ever leaves the driveway?
I found myself praying for this player later that night. I prayed that he would recognize the absurdity of this abuse and confront this lunatic mother…or that his father or coach would step up and stop this madness.
I hope I’ll see him again next summer as tennis season heats up. Perhaps he’ll be in the company of a compassionate coach who has convinced the mother to be a stay at home mom.
Ninety-seven percent of the parents at junior tournaments are terrific. They realize that their primary purpose is to be supportive and effort oriented…rather than obsessed with winning and losing. The bottom line is that as competitive pressures increase, so also should positive reinforcement from parents and coaches.
Just like the heart patient who may require cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) young athletes thirst for Continuous Positive Reinforcement so their spirits thrive in the challenging world of tournament tennis.
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