We were one of the host sites for a prestigious, six-state junior tournament held last summer. Returning from lunch on quarterfinals’ day, I asked the site coordinator if everything was running smoothly. Expecting the customary reply of “yes, we’re right on time,” I was surprised when he pulled me aside beyond earshot of players and spectators.
“Thanks for asking,” he said, “it’s been going great but I’m concerned about a Boys’16 match now going on court. He asked if I, as the head pro, could keep an eye on the match? “Certainly, I replied, “which player should I be aware of?” He didn’t identify either player but said there had been some very volatile situations in two recent tournaments. Motioning for me to follow, he walked briskly to a shade tree near our storage shed.
“It’s not the players who concern me.” He indicated that the mother of one player had been a consistent thorn in the side and hoped that the presence of more official types would quell her aberrant and abusive behavior. I observed the first set than ended without incident and returned to my office to complete a project due the next morning. Later, I learned that her history was to remain in control during the early part of matches and then, in the later stages, to erupt. This match went true to form.
In the deciding set, her son had numerous chances to put away the match but seemed too anxious and outcome obsessed to execute his shots. The mother, now a full fledged participant in the match, (a sideline saboteur) was beyond agitated. Spectators and other tournament players cringed as her outbursts redefined the word r a g e. Predictably, the boy’s tension and embarrassment cost him the match. As he came off court, the player received and earful—-not repeatable here.
As I was leaving the center an hour later, a car abruptly emerged from between two out of state SUV’s. It jerked to a stop nearby and I looked closer. It was immediately apparent that a player was receiving a verbal lashing. I could see two wildly animated arms motioning feverishly…..trying to make a point. (inflicting abuse) There was no response from the shaken junior who, earlier in the day, had looked forward to this important match.
I immediately felt the urge to pull my car out and block the exit. I wish I could have tapped on his window, reached out to him with understanding eyes, and said “nice match.” I also would have liked to tell him that he has rights as a player and to call the state tennis association for help.
It’s unfortunate that an aspiring player has to overcome his toughest draw at home before he ever enters the warmup. I found myself praying for this player later that night. I prayed that he would recognize the absurdity of this situation and confront his misguided mom. I hope I see him thriving next summer as tournament season heats up. Perhaps he’ll feel less anxious on the courts if his mother stays away or gets the help she needs.
Ninety-seven per cent of the parents at tournaments exhibit good sportsmanship and dignity. Some enlightened ones have even viewed their child’s match from our pro shop or from a distance so as not to create a distraction. The bottom line is that as competitive pressures increase, so also should positive reinforcement from parents and coaches.
Just like the heart patient who may require cardiopulmonary resuscitation to survive, young athletes thirst for CPR (continuous positive reinforcement) so their spirits thrive in the challenging world of tournament tennis.
*** Barry, It’s no wonder that your path had such a detour…one that a fully supported kid would never have taken.
What You’re Saying